Six Flags America

At some point, we have to drop the cynicism with which we greet the messages by environmentalists, meteorologists or even nature-worshippers: The earth is undergoing grave and potentially catastrophic changes in climate, and if care is not taken, the cumulative effect of this change will be massive destruction of earth-life on a scale that shudders the imagination. This summer's oppressive heat has reached a stage that I rarely venture outside during the day, and for very good reasons. Lately I have started stocking up barrels of water and as if that's not enough, I have thrown in mouth-chilling fruit juice cartons, brain-freezing slurpies and metabolism-slowing, arctic cold beer/wines. Gotta beat this heat one way or the other.

For now though, a dip in the pool is out of the question.

One day last week, I decided to go to Six Flags with a friend's family. Now, my main aim of going to this amusement park was not to get on one of those rides. If I felt like having a speedrush, I will go and join the Indianapolis race circuit or enroll for some flying lessons. I went there mainly to get some respite from the heat. I am not going to tell you the long and possibly boring story of this little summer fun event, but I distinctly remember that this was a day I came two times close to death by drowning. If you told me before then that there was an art to swimming even in ordinary shallow pools, I would have doubted you. I figured that if you could stand in a pool and have your head clearly above water, all you needed to do was put your arms and feet to good use and you could easily swim by trashing around. Wrong calculation.

Now, before I continue, I need to explain a few things.

1) I have never taken a swimming lesson one day in my entire life. Swimming for me was usually sitting on a ledge and splashing around with my feet. Ocassionally, I might go to the shallow end of a pool and put my head under water to see how many seconds I could last before coming up for air.

2) Sitting in a bathtub or a jacuzi, no matter how big,is no real way of assessing whether one would actually enjoy being in water.

3) Just because swimming pools are man-made, you should never get the idea that there can be no tides or waves. This is an important thing to remember. Also, there is no reason why you should expect the floor of a swimming pool NOT to be slippery as an eel.

So, on this memorable day, I decided that since both young and old, athletic and otherwise, experienced or amateurs were busy splashing away in the pool, I should join the intense, water-splashing fun. Without a care in the world, I jumped into the pool and started wading from the shallow end of the pool down to the deeper end of the pool. As you waded, you could see, by looking at the boundary, height markings to remind you that the pool was getting deeper. This was just too easy I thought. I saw a bright young lady (about 24 years old) when I got to 4'6 depth. Her movements were so graceful and she swam with delightful ease. I stopped at this point and struck up a conversation. As we chatted, she laughed and splashed around and asked why I was not actually swimming. I told her, with a big smile, that I actually needed a coach, in a tone of voice that left her convinced I was actually kidding around. If I could not swim, why would I have ventured into the water alone? Even if I entered, why did i not remain at the outer fringes of the pool? These and more questions she asked, but I just shrugged off these questions with that characteristic air that left her convinced I must have been kidding. 

Then, suddenly, my feet slipped on the extremely slippery floor and I fell with a thud in the water. I played it off real nice, turning around and then gradually getting back to my feet. When I got up, she smiled and declared pointedly that I needed no coach. I opened my mouth to contradict her but she wouldn't hear it--so she took my hand and we started going to the deeper end of the pool. At this point, I was clearly getting worried. As a matter of fact, I was absolutely terrified. I just stood at around the 5'0 feet area of the pool repeatedly dipping my body under water and coming up again. I couldn't do much more than that really. I watched as she floated around like a veritable mermaid. Then it happened.

Without any warning, I heard one of the lifeguards blow his whistle. It must be another person misbehaving in the pool, I thought. Then I heard screams. I stood up erect and glanced around to see what the noise was about, then instinctively I turned to face the deeper end of the pool. An artificial wave had somehow been created in the pool and it was bearing down on me fast. In a split second decision, I started wading back to the shallower end of the pool. Alas I was too late. As the waves washed over me, I lost my footing and then I fell face first in the pool. Then, I started thrashing and kicking around as water rushed into my mouth and nose. My instinct of self-preservation kicked in and I was swinging like crazy--desperate to catch anything with which to steady my balance.

It was a nightmarish scenario. My life flashed before my eyes, and I truly understood what it was to fight for dear life. Luckily for me, the lady I was talking to noticed that something was amiss. When she decided that I was not playing around, she dove in and caught me in time. My feet stabilized on the slippery swimming pool floor. Just then another wave swept me off my feet for the second time; only this time she was nearby when I started the horrible ordeal all over again. When I got to my feet for the second time gasping for breath with eyes all red, I immediately started timing my motions to the waves. When it  came near me, I'd do a little jump, fall back on my feet and kept an urgent march out to the shallower end of the pool. The good thing about it all was that no one noticed what was going on--not even the lazy, careless, good-for-nothing bastards that were planted in regular intervals over the pool whose job it was to come to the swift rescue of drowning thrill-seekers!

When Marissa, the Cuban lady I was talking to, caught up to me on the shallow end of the pool her reaction was one of disbelief.

"Oh ma gosh.. you really don't know how to swim!!" she blurted out.

"Thanks for believing me when I told you" I answered calmly.

" Wanna go back in again?" she teased.

" Yeah, right after I get a life buoy" I replied.

Then I turned around, looked at her, and we both started laughing as we waded out of the pool.

tags: six flags america  anaedoperiscope pics  

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